Note from Uncle Dale: Mother’s Day Two

My lovely bride, Aunt SuperTam, gave a talk on Mother’s Day a few years ago in our church. I would like to believe the leadership knew what they were in for when they asked her to speak, and she gave them exactly what they expected.

It is still talked about today.

She spoke about how very much many women dread Mother’s Day. For some, Mother’s Day is a reminder of all the possible ways they feel that they may have failed in that role.

For others it is a reminder that they do not have children of their bodies and so it is a day where they feel singled out by “real” Mothers for what they “lack”-while burning inside for want.

For some women it appears to be an indictment of their choice not to have children, a scornful reproach of that choice.

As the world has turned there are so many ways that Mother’s Day could be seen as a rejection of their family as it is.

She asked the congregation to remember that many sat in worship that day understanding everything the world “expected,” but that was not their reality, and Mother’s Day illuminated that in sharp relief.

But, she continued, Mother is not that small box with borders defined by the greeting card section in your local drug store.

“Mother” is not defined by living up to others expectations of what it should be or how mothers should act.

“Mother” exists outside of genetics or gender or genealogy.

“Mother” is about loving and nurturing. It’s a calling.

Not everyone who has given birth is called.

Many who have not actually given birth are called.

Mother is not about perfection. It’s about loving hard but imperfectly.

On this Mother’s Day I salute you all, the Mothers of children born of their bodies and those who give a Mother’s love to anyone who needs that huge heart.

As many of you know we are missing one of our babies this Mother’s Day. I also salute the Mother’s reaching out across the world or across the universe for the one far away physically but always always home in the heart.

To all mothers of all kinds happy Mother’s Day.

UD