Note from Uncle Dale: Mother’s Day Two

My lovely bride, Aunt SuperTam, gave a talk on Mother’s Day a few years ago in our church. I would like to believe the leadership knew what they were in for when they asked her to speak, and she gave them exactly what they expected.

It is still talked about today.

She spoke about how very much many women dread Mother’s Day. For some, Mother’s Day is a reminder of all the possible ways they feel that they may have failed in that role.

For others it is a reminder that they do not have children of their bodies and so it is a day where they feel singled out by “real” Mothers for what they “lack”-while burning inside for want.

For some women it appears to be an indictment of their choice not to have children, a scornful reproach of that choice.

As the world has turned there are so many ways that Mother’s Day could be seen as a rejection of their family as it is.

She asked the congregation to remember that many sat in worship that day understanding everything the world “expected,” but that was not their reality, and Mother’s Day illuminated that in sharp relief.

But, she continued, Mother is not that small box with borders defined by the greeting card section in your local drug store.

“Mother” is not defined by living up to others expectations of what it should be or how mothers should act.

“Mother” exists outside of genetics or gender or genealogy.

“Mother” is about loving and nurturing. It’s a calling.

Not everyone who has given birth is called.

Many who have not actually given birth are called.

Mother is not about perfection. It’s about loving hard but imperfectly.

On this Mother’s Day I salute you all, the Mothers of children born of their bodies and those who give a Mother’s love to anyone who needs that huge heart.

As many of you know we are missing one of our babies this Mother’s Day. I also salute the Mother’s reaching out across the world or across the universe for the one far away physically but always always home in the heart.

To all mothers of all kinds happy Mother’s Day.

UD

Random Thoughts from Uncle Dale: CPAs and Financial Planners

If you do mainly freelance or educational interpreting during the school year and freelance in the summer or VRS and have an Etsy store or…

You should really consider sitting down with a financial planner and a CPA.

It costs money.

Its also worth it. Specifically with all the changes in the tax code that are dropping on folks like like an apartment would if revisions in the building codes happen the same way the Trump tax cuts did (the very wealth would be fine. The rest of us would get crushed).

Anyway.

The amount you can save usually more than makes up for the up-front costs.

But you have to remember finding the right CPA or financial planner is like finding the right counselor or doctor or lawyer.

You have to play the field. One date is not a relationship.

If you have a CPA and you don’t feel they are working hard enough in your best interest then break-up and find someone new. See other people and don’t settle for less than you deserve.

When you find the one you really like, the one that works for you, then swipe right.

Random Thoughts By Uncle Dale: Decisions

Actual conversation with my boss in 1998, when I asked to adjust my work schedule to take classes to complete my BA:

Boss: Why?

Uncle Dale: Because i’m going to law school.

B: Why? You are a great interpreter, you have a good job and do you realize that when you graduate you will be 33-years-old?

UD: I will be 33-years-old anyway. I might as well be 33-years-old and a lawyer.

B: But you should have done that a long time ago. You’ve made your decisions in life.

UD: Know what? I can still make decisions. In fact here is a decision, I quit.

One of the best decisions I ever made.

It’s A New Year!

Hello family! First of all I want to thank everyone for their concern about my absence. The outpouring of love this year continues and I am overwhelmed by the many and specific acts of kindness and thoughtful notes I have received.

I am fine.

I am better than I have been in a long while.

I took a little break to work on the book but then this happened…

This beautiful gift is the daughter of my son who we lost to suicide in July.

She arrived and everything else kind of went away for a while.

As I have said in my Rules in various ways no job or task is important enough to require you to abandon your family and the love and support of friends.

Truth be told, the book is only slightly more complete than it was. But my heart has undergone a healing miracle. I have the peace that can only come from looking into the eyes of my granddaughter (not used to that one yet) and realize I need my heart to be whole so she can break it for herself each time she leaves my arms.

She is not my son. She is who she is and who she will be.

She is all attitude and smiles like he was as a baby, but she is also herself.

But I can feel him. Wanting to hold her so I do it for him. It’s been my job for a minute-it took me a minute to overcome my fear, it went away the moment she looked at me-I could make this a full time job.

I am back though. I have a whole crop of new Rules and Notes and Random Thoughts on what you Probably Should Know.

I am starting out with a hard one for me. It makes me a bit nervous because it’s self reflective in a way I am not used to.

But that is for tomorrow. Today I am Grandpa Uncle Dale. Gruncle (Yes I know that is Gravity Falls but I’m retasking it for my own purposes).

Today is for this:

See you tomorrow.

Gruncle Dale.

Random Thoughts From Aunt SuperTam: If You Are Asked To Interpret “A Christmas Carol” Last Minute!

Aunt SuperTam, who doesn’t sign, offers this advice…

How hard could it be?

Here, let me help. It just goes:

Grumpy Scrooge

Marley in Chains

Ghost

Ghost

Ghost

Redemption with a big turkey

God bless us everyone!

Jazz hands.

There. That should do it.

They can Venmo me the payment.

Random Thoughts From Uncle Dale: Let Me Give You An In Class Example…

Dear ASL to Spoken-English Students:

Don’t be so easily impressed:

I’ve taught this principle for thirteen years; and,

I picked the video!

Random Thoughts from Uncle Dale: I Will Miss You… In A Way

So, this is goodbye… kinda.

This weekend is mine and Aunt SuperTams 27th wedding anniversary (I KNOW RIGHT?)

Instead of presents this year we made each other promises.

We promised to leave this terrible summer behind us for one weekend.

I also promised to leave technology behind until Monday. So I am going off the air for the weekend.

There are some things more important than my blog.

I will see you all Monday.

UD