Just a few things I would ask you to consider doing at home instead of in front of me while I work (each of these are true):
Clipping your toenails;
Arguing with your Ex on the phone (vocally, VRS or text);
Chewing tobacco and spitting in a cup;
Texting memes to the client;
Watching YouTube Videos; or,
Taking your bra off without removing your shirt (I KID YOU NOT). It’s impressive, I agree, but you are not invisible just because your back is to the audience (That does not mean take your shirt off first and then… look, you’re kind of missing the point, just don’t).
This list is not exhaustive. I am sure that I will add to it.
Today had nothing to do with your skill or ability. Today had nothing to do with your talent or self-worth.
Today was just a hard day. Some days are hard.
Swivel chairs are just an invitation to unnecessarily body-shift.
He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said…
This is funny, but now is not the time to laugh;
This is sad, but now is not the time to cry;
You’re interpreting. This is the time for your client to laugh or cry.
Today I replaced the fly-wheel and belt on my swamp cooler.
Where did you learn how to do that?
(Crap) Um, you know, you pick things up… where does anyone learn to do anything…?
If the only reason you didn’t… is because you believe the Code of Profession Conduct says you shouldn’t, you need to get a better handle on “ethics.”