Rule 627

VRS Interpreters: The difference between denotative meaning and connotative meaning is often time dependent. A signed phrase that at 2:00 p.m. means “butt dial,” at 2:00 a.m. means, “booty call.”

Rule 620

VRS Interpreter: Hello my name is [Name] and I am a VRS Interpreter.

Support Group: Hi [Name]!

VRS Interpreter: Um. Well. I’ve been a CA for about four years now and I never thought I had a problem, then, the other day the call was answered by a PBX system, you know:

“…if you know the extension of the party you wish to reach you may dial it at any time, otherwise please choose from the following:

Press One for…”

And I realized I had memorized the number sequence to get from the trunk line to a live operator for that company.

And the Social Security Administration.

And to get to the Customer Service Department at four different cell phone providers.

And six hospitals and nine doctors offices, only one of which is in my State.

And Human Resources for the US Post Office.

Oh, and for Costco and, like, seven other businesses.

I can’t even call my children by their correct names half the time.

That’s when I knew I needed help…

Rule 610

Every VRI and VRS Interpreter eventually espouses Resistentialism.

(Look it up and you will agree. I’ll wait.)

Rule 564

VRS Call Center, Monday 6:20 am: It is difficult to maintain the proper sincere vocal affect needed to interpret to the Deaf caller’s boss that he is too sick to come to work (cough… cough) when the Deaf caller actually has a beer in his hand, a whole lot of empties all around him, OH… hello, and a rather naked person just sat on the bed in the background.

This is when professionalism just takes over.

Rule 495

Terms for things all interpreters understand.

Morgan Freeman: when you narrate the appointment as much as interpret it (most common among VRS interpreters, but we all do it), as in:

I had to straight-up Morgan Freeman for an hour! I just kept saying, “The Client is reading the paper you just gave him so you’ll have to wait for him to look up,” or “The door is closed so the Client will not understand the instructions you are giving on how to collect a ‘clean’ urine sample.”

VRS Interpreters: “The Caller is talking to someone off screen,” or “there are now two people on the screen,” or “the Caller just walked away…”