Uncle Dale’s “You Probably Should Know”: Living Wills

Hey everyone!  So last week a former student/current rocking interpreter asked me over Facebook how to interpret the term “Living Will.” This of course set off a firestorm of opinions on leaving it to the lawyer/doctor/other person to explain what is means or the Deaf client to ask what it means.

Totally not getting into that discussion.

But, I will say it never hurts to know what it means yourself, because you are going to have to interpret it (no matter who digs for the deeper meaning), and if you are relying on an attorney to say anything that anyone but another attorney would understand you have not met many of us!  We suck at explaining… bad… way bad!

Anyway, the real problem with the term “Living Will” is that if four people say it there will be seven different meanings intended–“Living Will” is the Aloha of testamentary terminology, people use it to mean everything.

So lets go through what we are talking about: What happens to my stuff after I die and myself while I die.

Trusts.

There are two kinds, Intervivos and Testamentary. Intervivos holds your stuff while you are alive and is usually revocable (you can change it or get rid of it while you are alive) but becomes irrevocable when you die… cuz you’re dead.  Testamentary Trust are set up by another instrument, like a Will, and only are declared after you die.

Both of them hold your stuff as if they were legally a person.  Trusts are usually set up with specific rules like “this is to be used for my kids education” and so living or dead that is what the trust can be used for.  Most are time limited so if anything happens to you the Trust will do its thing until the kids are 22 or 23-years-old (I never advise a client to make the Trust distribute is corpus to a 21-year-old because I knew me when I was 21-years-old).  Lots of people want Intervivos Trusts, fewer people need them.  The tax advantages only kick in north of 5 million dollars.  They are good for multiple marriages and kids from each marriage.  Testamentary Trust established by a Will are good for people with young kids.

A Will.

Like a “Last Will and Testament” Will.  This is good for making sure all your stuff gets to the people who you want it to go to when you die.  These days most stuff passes through an “extra-testamentary” document–as a beneficiary of an insurance policy or joint accounts or joint tenancy in the ownership of a house. A Will catches everything else so there is no dispute as to who gets the stuff.

A Living Will.

When people say Living Will they could mean any number of Advanced Directives (directions you give before something happens).  An ACTUAL Living Will gives instructions of what you want done or not done medically if you are unconscious or otherwise unable to give competent instructions as to your wishes.

A Medical Power of Attorney or Healthcare Proxy (sometimes called a Living Will) designates a person to relay your wishes is for some reason you cannot do it yourself.  Not their wishes for you but having told them what you want they accept the responsibility to relay your wishes.

Then there is a DNR-Do Not Resuscitate.  Just like it sounds, if certain conditions are present just let me go.

There you go! and remember Uncle Dale’s Rule may be informative but it is not a substitute for legal advice.  If you want information please talk to a lawyer in your area.

 

Rule 309

Save me Deaf Client… This hearing person is talking directly to me… she keeps asking me how I learned Sign Language… she wants to know if we’re related… she is doing it right now…  Save me? Please?

Rule 284

Interpret for four and a half hours alone?  If I’m alone, I don’t even want to do something that feels good for over two hours.

Note from Uncle Dale: A Harsh Examination of the Interpreter  

So, you ask, Uncle Dale who are you… I mean in relation to the Deaf Community.

Good question.  I can only answer for me and certainly not for the Deaf Community.

As I see me, I am a facilitator of communication. I can be an ally, when it is appropriate (sometimes it’s not-sometimes what I see as ally behavior is actually Audism. All of my passion and experience and fluency does not save me from the things my hearing privilege hides from me).

Sometimes… sometimes I am a necessary evil (mental health treatment should not be interpreted–it should only happen directly in the language of the person needing therapy-oh and education. But this is not the world in which we live).

I am not the savior of the Deaf Community. I’m the hired help.

I always remind myself that the Deaf Community was resisting Audism before I got here and will still be fighting long after I’m gone.

I am not needed. What is needed is the work I do.  The work I do is needed and always appreciated, but sometimes the appreciation is… grudging; and that is fine. The Deaf Community does not need to love me AND THAT IS FINE.  I don’t have any say about how the Deaf Community should or should not feel about anything.  I can only make observations on what I see.

There is a level of ambivalence that always seems to exist between me and the community I love and serve. I exist in world where my work is greeted with appreciation and frustration at the same time.

Why? Well. I think of it this way. Imagine that, in order to breathe, you must employ the services of a person who touches the end of your nose-a certified nose toucher.

Now, it may not be that you can’t breathe, but in order to breathe effectively, and specifically at times of stress or when breathing effectively is vital, the services of a professional, certified “nose toucher” is needed (can’t do it for yourself, oh and you have horrible memories of the education system trying to teach you to touch your nose with your elbow, and everyone seems to have a suggestion of installing dubious microchips in your nose, but I digress).

So how would you feel toward the “nose toucher?” You would of course appreciate the “nose toucher” each and every time you took a clear and effective breath. But, you would also resent the fact that you had to depend on this other person for something so basic as breathing, that the world as it is forces this reality.

You would surely be angry each time someone talked to the “nose toucher” instead of you, as if you were unable to think instead of breathe.

Out of necessity you spend time with your “nose toucher,” and so you may develop “a relationship,”  sometimes beyond the realm of “nose touching,” maybe even a friendship.  But, that can lead to problems of its own. A blurry line between friend and professional can be dangerous.

Of course sometimes you will be assigned a “nose toucher” that you just do not like.  That’s a whole new level of frustration.

In the end no matter how much you appreciate the work of the professional, certified, “nose toucher” and even despite perhaps liking some of the “nose touchers,” they are people you MUST be with, not people you choose to be with. Every time they do their job you are grateful for it and also reminded of the fact that you are dependent on them. Appreciation and frustration. Sometimes you just want to go into the bathroom all alone and just choke. Sometimes you would rather just choke.

This is the way I imagine it, but I may be way off. Even if I am exactly accurate in my observations, people who are Deaf have every right to this feeling of ambivalence and it does not diminish the importance of what I do or my love of doing it. For me, recognizing it just keeps my head in the right place so I can do it my job effectively.

Who am I in relation to the Deaf Community? I am as helpful as I can be, as often as I can be. Nothing more nothing less.