Rule 566

It is entirely possible that nothing you did or said caused this problem, nothing you do or say will resolve this problem and nothing you can do or say will prevent it from happening again.

But you will still get the blame.

Because sometimes everyone blames the interpreter.

The only recourse when this happens is do your job and do it well.

Rule 564

VRS Call Center, Monday 6:20 am: It is difficult to maintain the proper sincere vocal affect needed to interpret to the Deaf caller’s boss that he is too sick to come to work (cough… cough) when the Deaf caller actually has a beer in his hand, a whole lot of empties all around him, OH… hello, and a rather naked person just sat on the bed in the background.

This is when professionalism just takes over.

Rule 563

Teams are the best!

Me: Where did this burrito come from?

Team: I brought it to you.

Me: You bought me a burrito?

Team: No, I brought it to you. It was a hand-me-down.

Me: You “re-gifted” me a burrito?

Team: I ate the other one. It’s a burrito. Be thankful.

Happiness is a hand-me-down burrito.

Rule 560

Dear New Interpreter:

Stop being afraid people will laugh at you and just enjoy people laughing near you.

Rule 559

Non-interpreter: You know, if you [insert impractical “resolution” to a non-existent interpreting issue here] that would work better…

Interpreter:

(Thanks for the graphic Sarah Glendenning!)