You know them. You’ve said them. Usually with the same vocal inflection employed by Bob the Tomato when he says, “like butter on a bald monkey.”
Interpreterisms are always best when it is just possible that they are accurate interpretations.
Some of the best I’ve heard:
“It takes a mighty big dog to weigh a ton.” (It was said with such conviction).
(Misunderstanding a local sign for ‘prefer’) “aaaaannnnnd then a squirrel jumped up and bit me on the head?”
“I couldn’t wear the ice cream home or my mother would know I’d been with a boy.”
“It’s a kind of, it’s a thing where, it’s, it’s, it’s a, I don’t know what it is.”
“And then I wondered if I… swallowed the… Er… ate the… soap?”
What are your favorites?
Bizarre “field specific” acronyms;
Nonsensically named computer programs;
References to field offices in unusually named small towns in other states; and,
Client specific shorthand for things they deal with everyday on this job but that exist nowhere in the world outside!
Curse you and all your ilk!
When a referral agency offers a choice between two appointments we should all admit to selecting:
The appointment in closer proximity to that one donut place;
The appointment with the faster WiFi;
The appointment where that one time they had cake, really good cake; or,
The more intellectually stimulating.
In that order.
Find your happy place.
Security: I can’t let you into the convention without a pass.
Interpreter: I’m the Sign Language Interpreter.
Security: Oh, they told me to tell you that your credentials are at the Information Booth in the Main Hall.
Interpreter: Ok thanks, I’ll go and get them.
Security: Sorry. I can’t let you in without a pass.
Terms For Things All Interpreters Understand:
Conservation of Gibberish:
The amount of effort you wish to expend on explaining to the Client that your interpretation was spot on, but what the Presenter said didn’t make any sense.
Agency: Will you take an appointment at a nudist resort?
Me: Is it Deaf/Blind interpreting?
It’s too hot! If my last client was just a mirage do I still get paid a two hour minimum?