Rule 578

Today had nothing to do with your skill or ability. Today had nothing to do with your talent or self-worth.

Today was just a hard day. Some days are hard.

Rule 575

Today I replaced the fly-wheel and belt on my swamp cooler.

Where did you learn how to do that?

(Crap) Um, you know, you pick things up… where does anyone learn to do anything…?

Rule 564

VRS Call Center, Monday 6:20 am: It is difficult to maintain the proper sincere vocal affect needed to interpret to the Deaf caller’s boss that he is too sick to come to work (cough… cough) when the Deaf caller actually has a beer in his hand, a whole lot of empties all around him, OH… hello, and a rather naked person just sat on the bed in the background.

This is when professionalism just takes over.

Rule 536

You are the interpreter. You will likely never get answers to the questions popping into your head during this appointment.

Practice with me. Just accept, “Well. Because he owns a pair of Lederhosen? I guess,” as a good enough answer and move on!

Rule 532

Dear Concert Security,

If you need something, maybe talk to the interpreter who is NOT actively interpreting.

Just a thought.

Love,

Logic & Courtesy

Rule 531

Referral Agency: I know you had your first appointment at 5:00 a.m., but we will pay time and a half if you run and swap out an interpreter who had an emergency. It’s for a new night-shift employee’s orientation and shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.

Rule 527

Is interpreting a real job? Anything is a real job if someone pays you to do it. Politics and prostitution prove that point.