Rule 421

“Sorry you came all this way. Tell [The Deaf Client] that we have decided not to pay for an interpreter, it’s too expensive.”


“What’s this?”

My bill to interpret what you just said. Two hour minimum. I’ll take payment in cash.

Rule 419

“We can’t afford two interpreters so we will make sure you get frequent breaks…”

The break is a lie.

Rule 418

Actual phrases that if you didn’t know the context could be really awkward to interpret (on-going):

Good meat stands on its own.

(context cooking class)

Rule 383

Things Uncle Dale did that you probably should not (on-going):

Let me get this straight. You’re not offering to pay me for the convention, you’re saying I get in free to any events that I interpret? I get to work in exchange for being there.

Wow. Let me unpack your central flawed assumption. In essence you’re just a guy in a bar saying to an attractive woman, “But I’m offering you the chance to have sex with me for free.”

Rule 371

“Can you recommend someone who will charge less and can do the job with just one interpreter?”

Anyone who would take on that assignment for less than I quoted and attempt it alone I would never recommend. If you find someone who will, that should be your first clue it’s the wrong interpreter for the job. 

Rule 365

Actual quote from a medical office manager after 40 minutes of arguing with me, in my lawyer role, about the doctor’s legal obligations regarding interpreters:

If I was Hearing Impaired I would be embarrassed having to ask for help all the time from interpreters. I do not wish to play a part in humiliating some poor Hearing Impared person further.

My actual response:

Being that sanctimonious must be much easier for you because you are so stupid. 

I worked it out with their attorney, who was far less stupid