Aunt SuperTam, who doesn’t sign, offers this advice…
How hard could it be?
Here, let me help. It just goes:
Marley in Chains
Redemption with a big turkey
God bless us everyone!
There. That should do it.
They can Venmo me the payment.
A mash-up of real conversations with directors, artistic directors, casting directors and stage managers of theaters and production companies both large and small:
Theatre/Production Company: We have an interesting issue and we’d like your advice.
Uncle Dale: Ok.
T/PC: We just had auditions for [Insert the name of a production, famous or new] and a girl who is hearing-impaired auditioned.
T/PC: Excuse me?
UD: Deaf, not hearing-impaired. You can say Deaf. You should say Deaf. It’s alright, she knows she’s Deaf.
T/PC: Riiight. But I’m trying to be, you know, culturally sensitive.
UD: Then say Deaf.
T/PC: That doesn’t feel comfortable to me.
UD: Do you say Negro?
UD: Then say Deaf.
T/PC: What? Really?
UD: Yes. Go on to the issue.
T/PC: Well this, um, Deaf? Heh. DEAF girl was, fantastic! Her audition was transformative!
UD: Ok. Waiting for the “issue.”
T/PC: We are not sure what to do.
UD: Cast her?
T/PC: But the character is not written as Deaf. We are not sure how to square casting her with the fact that the script and original story don’t say she is Deaf.
UD: Is there any thing that says she is not Deaf?
UD: Issue resolved. Glad I could help.
(Gave info on finding a good Deaf consultant)
If they understood what they were talking to each other about, but you didn’t, call it a miracle and move on.
Don’t spoil it by overthinking. Let there be magic in the world!
Filling out paperwork at 2:23 AM in the emergency room:
Nurse: I’m sorry you have to work so late.
Uncle Dale: (Realizing how both common and odd that is to say) I’m sorry you have to work so late.
Nurse: Well, you know, it’s my job.
UD: Funny you should mention that, it’s mine too.
We both stared at each other for a moment or two and both of us burst out laughing. I have no idea why either one of us thought that was so funny but at 2:30 in the morning it really was!
Bizarre “field specific” acronyms;
Nonsensically named computer programs;
References to field offices in unusually named small towns in other states; and,
Client specific shorthand for things they deal with everyday on this job but that exist nowhere in the world outside!
Curse you and all your ilk!
When a storyteller tells you, “oh don’t worry, I’m telling the same story that you interpreted for last time, remember!
It’s never the same story.
“If you can just do this quick job for us we will work out pay with you later,” or, “Don’t worry we’ll take care of you,” is just a Hearing Client’s way of saying, “we’re not going to pay you.”
It’s kinda a Labor Day Rule.