Rule 627

VRS Interpreters: The difference between denotative meaning and connotative meaning is often time dependent. A signed phrase that at 2:00 p.m. means “butt dial,” at 2:00 a.m. means, “booty call.”

Rule 624

Find your happy place.

Security: I can’t let you into the convention without a pass.

Interpreter: I’m the Sign Language Interpreter.

Security: Oh, they told me to tell you that your credentials are at the Information Booth in the Main Hall.

Interpreter: Ok thanks, I’ll go and get them.

Security: Sorry. I can’t let you in without a pass.

Rule 611

When a Doctor’s Office tells a Deaf person, “you have to bring your own interpreter,” I just want to ask the name of the wheelchair user they required to build that wheelchair-ramp in front of their building.

Rule 603

Terms For Things All Interpreters Understand:

Reverse Tennis:

When you are working from ASL-to-Spoken English and the Client suddenly signs, “YES, EXACTLY YOU RIGHT POINT GOOD,” you have no idea what “point” a different Deaf person, who is behind you, made, and let’s face it “TRAIN-GONE,” but you still reflexively turn your head toward the second Deaf person and, whoops, “TRAIN-GONE” what the Client is saying NOW, so you quickly snap your eyes back to the Client only to realize, by the look on the Client’s face, that the Deaf person behind you is making another comment…

Rule 595

Agency: Will you take an appointment at a nudist resort?

Me: Is it Deaf/Blind interpreting?

Rule 592

Will computers ever replace interpreters?

Nah, computers are way too smart to put up with all crap interpreters take for as little as we get paid.