Rule 592

Will computers ever replace interpreters?

Nah, computers are way too smart to put up with all crap interpreters take for as little as we get paid.

Rule 583

CART, publicly displaying my ASL-to-Spoken English skills, the good, the bad and the ugly, since March 23, 1982.

Thank you Chip Royce

Rule 582

Dear Interpreter in the Audience,

It is obvious my processing time is longer than your comfort zone.

Thank you for yelling your support.

Shut up.

Love,

The Interpreter in the Chair (you know, the one holding the microphone).

Rule 579

Dear Team,

Just a few things I would ask you to consider doing at home instead of in front of me while I work (each of these are true):

Flossing;

Clipping your toenails;

Arguing with your Ex on the phone (vocally, VRS or text);

Chewing tobacco and spitting in a cup;

Texting memes to the client;

Sexting;

Sleeping;

Vaping;

Watching YouTube Videos; or,

Taking your bra off without removing your shirt (I KID YOU NOT). It’s impressive, I agree, but you are not invisible just because your back is to the audience (That does not mean take your shirt off first and then… look, you’re kind of missing the point, just don’t).

Thank you.

This list is not exhaustive. I am sure that I will add to it.

Rule 576

This is funny, but now is not the time to laugh;

This is sad, but now is not the time to cry;

You’re interpreting. This is the time for your client to laugh or cry.