Traffic/Time between appointments
Hold music vs. sanity
Pants (Why, and would anyone in the Call Center notice/care)
Things Interpreters may think, but probably should not say (an on-going series):
You are really testing my people skills.
VRS INTERPRETERS: Don’t you hate it when, mid-shift, your butt falls asleep? Because you know it will be up all night.
A mash-up of real conversations with directors, artistic directors, casting directors and stage managers of theaters and production companies both large and small:
Theatre/Production Company: We have an interesting issue and we’d like your advice.
Uncle Dale: Ok.
T/PC: We just had auditions for [Insert the name of a production, famous or new] and a girl who is hearing-impaired auditioned.
T/PC: Excuse me?
UD: Deaf, not hearing-impaired. You can say Deaf. You should say Deaf. It’s alright, she knows she’s Deaf.
T/PC: Riiight. But I’m trying to be, you know, culturally sensitive.
UD: Then say Deaf.
T/PC: That doesn’t feel comfortable to me.
UD: Do you say Negro?
UD: Then say Deaf.
T/PC: What? Really?
UD: Yes. Go on to the issue.
T/PC: Well this, um, Deaf? Heh. DEAF girl was, fantastic! Her audition was transformative!
UD: Ok. Waiting for the “issue.”
T/PC: We are not sure what to do.
UD: Cast her?
T/PC: But the character is not written as Deaf. We are not sure how to square casting her with the fact that the script and original story don’t say she is Deaf.
UD: Is there any thing that says she is not Deaf?
UD: Issue resolved. Glad I could help.
(Gave info on finding a good Deaf consultant)
Never set your bag down on a conveyer belt in order to interpret. Even if it’s stopped, because, funny thing, THEY START MOVING.
They “convey” things. It’s in their nature. In fact it’s right there in their name!
You know them. You’ve said them. Usually with the same vocal inflection employed by Bob the Tomato when he says, “like butter on a bald monkey.”
Interpreterisms are always best when it is just possible that they are accurate interpretations.
Some of the best I’ve heard:
“It takes a mighty big dog to weigh a ton.” (It was said with such conviction).
(Misunderstanding a local sign for ‘prefer’) “aaaaannnnnd then a squirrel jumped up and bit me on the head?”
“I couldn’t wear the ice cream home or my mother would know I’d been with a boy.”
“It’s a kind of, it’s a thing where, it’s, it’s, it’s a, I don’t know what it is.”
“And then I wondered if I… swallowed the… Er… ate the… soap?”
What are your favorites?
Some companies have their “new hire orientation” down to a science. For others it’s more like alchemy.