Rule 596

Dear VRI Interpreter:

Watch your sight-lines or clean your room!

The Client should not know it’s Monday because that pair of “day of the week” panties is missing from the clothes strewn about the room behind you.

Thank you Jared Allebest

Rule 595

Agency: Will you take an appointment at a nudist resort?

Me: Is it Deaf/Blind interpreting?

Rule 577

Swivel chairs are just an invitation to unnecessarily body-shift.

He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said He said She said…

Rule 531

Referral Agency: I know you had your first appointment at 5:00 a.m., but we will pay time and a half if you run and swap out an interpreter who had an emergency. It’s for a new night-shift employee’s orientation and shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.

Note from Uncle Dale: Wisdom All Interpreters Need to Learn Before It’s Too Late.

(A story my father told me years ago…)

Once upon a time there was a little bird who decided not to prepare to fly south for the winter.

The bird knew she should prepare, she just didn’t want to.

When all the other birds started to fly south she just sat where she was.

Then it started to snow.

Realizing her mistake she quickly flapped her wings and headed south… but didn’t get very far before her lack of preparedness caused the difficulty of her undertaking to knock her out of the sky. In other words her wings and body froze and she fell down down down until she crash landed in a field and the snow began to bury her.

Suddenly, a cow standing nearby raised her tail and buried the frozen little bird under a pile of steaming manure.

The little bird sobbed to herself. Her foolish choice to fail to prepare and her procrastination had left her to die, frozen, and covered in smelly cow poop.

But suddenly she realized she was no longer frozen.

The warmth of the cow plop thawed her body and the feeling was returning to her wings.

The little bird realized that she was not going to freeze to death and she was so happy that she started to sing.

Her song attracted a nearby cat who dug her out and ate her.

This story has four morals:

1. Sooner or later if you don’t prepare you are doomed;

2. Not everyone who dumps on you is your enemy;

3. Not everyone who digs you out of a mess is your friend; and,

4. If you’re up to your neck in crap, but otherwise fine, SHUT UP!