Rule 735

Dear Deaf Client,

You know that Code of Professional Conduct forbids me offering personal opinions.

So…

While we are waiting for your job interview at a clothing store I will hold your purse as you try on clothes, but I will not tell you which outfit looks better.

Note from Uncle Dale: Interpreting The Very Very Obvious (RID Views, Spring 2019)

https://rid.org/note-from-uncle-dale-views-may-2019/

It’s A New Year!

Hello family! First of all I want to thank everyone for their concern about my absence. The outpouring of love this year continues and I am overwhelmed by the many and specific acts of kindness and thoughtful notes I have received.

I am fine.

I am better than I have been in a long while.

I took a little break to work on the book but then this happened…

This beautiful gift is the daughter of my son who we lost to suicide in July.

She arrived and everything else kind of went away for a while.

As I have said in my Rules in various ways no job or task is important enough to require you to abandon your family and the love and support of friends.

Truth be told, the book is only slightly more complete than it was. But my heart has undergone a healing miracle. I have the peace that can only come from looking into the eyes of my granddaughter (not used to that one yet) and realize I need my heart to be whole so she can break it for herself each time she leaves my arms.

She is not my son. She is who she is and who she will be.

She is all attitude and smiles like he was as a baby, but she is also herself.

But I can feel him. Wanting to hold her so I do it for him. It’s been my job for a minute-it took me a minute to overcome my fear, it went away the moment she looked at me-I could make this a full time job.

I am back though. I have a whole crop of new Rules and Notes and Random Thoughts on what you Probably Should Know.

I am starting out with a hard one for me. It makes me a bit nervous because it’s self reflective in a way I am not used to.

But that is for tomorrow. Today I am Grandpa Uncle Dale. Gruncle (Yes I know that is Gravity Falls but I’m retasking it for my own purposes).

Today is for this:

See you tomorrow.

Gruncle Dale.

Random Thoughts From Uncle Dale: 2018 End of the Year Post

Between Christmas and New Years I like to repost the most “popular” posts from the year.

This year that is an odd prospect because, as many of you know, I had some traumatic life events that caused some of my posts to be shared by this wonderful, loving community many more times than others. These posts were shared as much for the emotion as the content.

That gives me pause to think about what I mean when I say “popular.”

That is usually just a calculation of the most views. But, as I said, this year I cannot rely on the most viewed being the most helpful.

So I came to a decision. In this post I will include a few of those more emotionally powerful posts that may have skewed the numbers as far as views and start with the most viewed posts that are more directed at the experience of the interpreter and skill development tomorrow.

Thank you. Thank you all for the love you’ve shown this year for both me and my family.

1. Real Talk With Aunt SuperTam

https://uncledalesrulesforinterpreters.wordpress.com/2018/07/31/note-from-aunt-supertam-real-talk-with-supertam/

2. An Open Letter to Lin-Manuel Miranda.

https://uncledalesrulesforinterpreters.wordpress.com/2018/07/23/thank-you-and-an-open-letter-to-lin-manuel-miranda/

3. This is Where You Are.

https://uncledalesrulesforinterpreters.wordpress.com/2018/08/21/note-from-uncle-dale-this-is-where-you-are/

Love to you all!

UD

Random Thoughts From Uncle Dale: And Why Is Uncle Dale Posting This You Ask? Don’t Question Magic, Just Enjoy!

https://www.facebook.com/1730978223621029/posts/2137482209637293/

Note From Uncle Dale: Because You Have Been Given Much You Too Must Give.

The title of this Note actually comes from a song I learned in church as a child.

Now, if you are concerned that I’m going to get all religiony or preachy with you, don’t worry. The religious song is just the framework, the structure upon which I can hang my point. As for preachy?

Well, preachy is a matter of personal interpretation.

One persons preachy is another persons useful advice (I think it depends on how the “advice” pokes your heart and mind. If it assures you, that’s one thing, but if hurts a bit or makes you think of a habit you already knew you needed to change, that is what most people call preachy).

Before you give into the temptation to think the title of this Note means I will be telling you that you need to volunteer more, of course you do; but that’s not exactly my point.

The first verse of the song talks not about giving as in giving away, but about giving as defined as sharing:

My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof’s safe shelter overhead that he too may be comforted…

Share.

Share what you have been given. And make no mistake, you have been given much.

Sometime, somewhere, someone pulled you aside and said, “I have something I can teach you that will make your journey smoother than mine, let me share it with you. It will not make everything easy for you, but if you let me share it with you it will make the path easier for you than it was for me.”

That mentor, hearing or Deaf, was given much and so they gave. Because they gave to you, you now have something to give.

It takes nothing away from you to help another interpreter get better at what they do. Knowledge, wisdom and skill are not finite resources. When you give of your time, energy and experience to lift another it improves the profession as a whole and opens doors for the Deaf community.

In the end sharing always makes you better at what you do. You never really have a skill, it is never locked down for you, until you teach it to another person.

Develop a true desire for the next generation of interpreters to be better, more skilled, more able than you ever hoped to be, ever dreamed of being, and you will achieve more than you can imagine in your own time.

You may think, “but I am just getting the hang of this myself…”.

You have something to offer even if you think you don’t.

I make a joke when I teach, “what is the difference between a teacher and a student?”

One chapter.

You have something to offer. Even if it seems like a little, it means a lot.

You have been given much and so you have something to share.

…I will give love to those in need, I’ll show that love by word and deed, thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Give back to the community that has given you so much. Give back in large and small ways. Give back in word and deed.

“Now,” you think, “now he is talking about volunteering.” Well of course you should volunteer. But that is still not exactly what I mean.

Think about where your skills and abilities are needed most and then take them there.

I think reader (and now friend) Xenia Fretter said it best. “Sometimes,” she said, “we should choose to take the 2 hour appointment where our skills are needed over the all-day appointment, that pays better, but doesn’t require any specific skill or experience.”

Because we have been given much, we should consider where we are needed most, not just what pays the most.

We must seek for a Deaf-heart. If you know the term but don’t know exactly what it means then that is your next mission. Learn its meaning, and then live it each hour of each day.

…because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care…

Each of us, at one time or another, has been sheltered and fed by the good care of another.

I will never forget, so many years ago, when I showed up at an appointment and realized very quickly that I was in over my head.

Then my team showed up.

I took a risk and shared my fears with this wonderful, kind, experienced interpreter. She looked at me and asked, “why do you think you’re not ready for this? If you think you don’t know enough ‘Signs,’ you do. It’s not a vocabulary test. If you think you don’t have the skills, you do. I’ve seen your work. I asked for you as my team. What you don’t have yet is the experience. You get that today. So, take a breath and do your best work. I’m not going to let you fall on your face. That would not be fair to the Client or to you.”

At that moment she literally took ahold of my chin and gently turned my face and looked me in the eyes. “You go and do your best work. Not good work or great work. Your best work. Work harder than you have ever worked. I will take care of the rest.”

I ran into this great interpreter a few months ago at a conference and asked her if she remembered that day. She laughed and said, “I gave that speech to you? You? I’ll take your word for it because I gave it a lot, but I don’t remember giving it to you” (then she laughed and said, “when you use this for your blog don’t mention my name, it will ruin my reputation as a mean ol’ lady.”

You’re secret is safe. Mean mean mean that’s what you are. Grin).

I have been sheltered and fed by the good care of so many others. In that way I have been given much so I too must give.

(Ok I totally have to digress here. A while ago I was in court as the attorney and in walked the interpreter; one of my former students. She stopped and this look of fear crossed her face. I greeted her and she was obviously nervous. I pulled her aside and asked if she was ok. She stammered our that she did not expect it to be me she was interpreting for. I gave her a version of the speech above tailored to her current situation.

I ended by reminding her that she was not interpreting for witness testimony, the Client was in the gallery watching me argue a motion on their case and I knew she had the skills to do this BECAUSE I TAUGHT HER TO DO IT!

She did a fantastic job.

When the hearing was over I talked with my Client for a minute and looked around but the interpreter was gone. I walked into the hallway found her sitting on a bench in a secluded corner near the restrooms, crying.

I sat down and put my arm around her and said, “you were fantastic! I’m so proud of your work.”

She looked up at me and said, “you were so mean! I’ve never heard you speak to people like that. It was so mean!”

Um. You can’t prepare them for everything I guess. Even at the time I didn’t remember the hearing being particularly contentious, but Lawyer Uncle Dale is apparently different from Professor Uncle Dale.)

Because I have been given much, I too must give. Thank you for reading this Note. That simple act, reading my thoughts, is helping me to give.

That is my last point.

Part of giving is receiving. People can’t get the benefit of giving if we are not willing to receive.

Let people serve you.

For many of us that is the most difficult thing I ask in this Note. Let others grow through their service to you.

Let your peers lift you up and support you along the way. If you do, you are really helping them as well.

We need each other. Now more than any time in my memory we need one another.

We need to serve and accept service. If the horrors of the recent months of my life taught me anything, they taught me that point over and over. Sometimes the best service we can give is to accept service from others.

We must give. We must give if for no other reason than to show thankfulness for all that we have been given.

And make no mistake. Each of us, every one, has been given much.

Rule 643

A professional expects payment. A volunteer expects gratitude.

Either may get both, but no one should ever expect both!