Rule 725

K-12 Interpreters! Didn’t get enough of paste and social studies the first time around? Is the smell of socially awkward pre-teen your jam? Then maybe you have what it takes to make it in the moderately paced world of K-12 interpreting!

For the low, low price of the paycheck they offer you, you too can bring home every cough or sniffle from that Victorian TB ward of a classroom-the upside being you may be too sick to wade through the dreaded unit on Ethan Frome… AGAIN (stop looking longingly at sleds).

K-12 interpreting: you may not get money or respect, but at least there’s angst.

Rule 724

VRS Interpreters! Enjoy the tomb-like security that only a cubicle can bring. Yes, for the simple price of a regular paycheck (and lack of exposure to any natural light) you too can spend your days on hold with the Social Security Administration and your nights making bootie calls, all from the claustrophobic comfort of your cubicle. Hazzah!

Rule 723

Interpreters! Enjoy the liberation that comes only from being your own boss! You can choose to work any 22 hours out of the day you want!

Yes! You have the freedom to choose the 154 hours you will work each week. No one can tell you which 154-that is for you to decide! It’s all up to you! That’s independence!

Rule 722

You say the fourth grader you interpret for is ignoring you?

Look around.

How many of these kids are hanging on every word the teacher says?

Congratulations!

You are interpreting for a very normal elementary school kid.

Rule 720

I need to find a spawn-point in this interpretation, reset and just try this again.

Rule 719

A wrist.

An elbow.

A shoulder.

A heart.

A soul.

If it hurts it’s a problem you shouldn’t ignore.

If you think that ignoring the pain will make it go away, just remember…

It won’t.